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>There is limited scope for someone to tell other people what they need to do.

A well run project would be soliciting UI changes, mock-ups, demos, etc. They would be planning it out, have an implementation schedule, etc. Frankly, the idea that designers waltz in and yell at humble nerds is more than a little overly generous to the broken Linus-style FOSS management style.

Exactly. In some sense, you have to dictate to people who you have no power over, and do not respect you (obviously, I'm exaggerating a bit).

If you don't value design you're incompetent as a developer. Why would you even contribute to a project if you don't want what's best for the project?

Maybe they do value design. Maybe they just value different designs than you.