I think the challenge is to ask people questions in a way that isn't condescending, where you're not necessarily trying to corner them into some preconceived position.

My boss has a great way of asking questions– he precedes them with "just out of curiosity...", and I always get the sense that he's really, genuinely curious. He's gotten me to think about things that I hadn't even considered before, and I'm very thankful for it. I've grown to adopt it myself, and I've found it helpful even in my marriage and in my friendships.

There are many different ways to say something like, "Hey, I notice that this happened– any idea why that is?"

With the right tone and body language, people just open up. It's wonderful.