I'm sure the old people I know who still refer to black folks as "negros" don't mean anything by it. I also bet the people who throw around "gay" as a generic pejorative aren't thinking of actual gay people when they use the word as an insult. That doesn't make either one acceptable here in the 2010s.

Same with telling a woman that doing something "manly-man" style is doing it skillfully.

And even if you know it's going to be taken as humorous, let me give you a hint: it's not very funny. It's just not very good as humor. There is much better material out there if you're going for a joke.