I had not seen node-jsdom. I see that it is forked from jsdom 3.x, which still works with node.js. Do windows users mind having to install the visual c++ compiler?
If it's just the vc++ compiler, chances are node devs already have it installed anyway if they do in fact work on a windows machine.
Imagine my shock to realize that the fake jsdom-node project I made up actually exists (in the form of node-jsdom) and actually exists for the reason I made up. What. The. Fuck.