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Comment by Delmania | Hacker News Reader

This post is an attempt to apply rationality to a situation which is highly emotional and therefore irrational. The author's description of how he fires demonstrates a complete lack of empathy in a situation in which the person being fire needs it. It's like breaking up or getting a divorce, it's going to be ugly no matter what you do, the best thing you can do, even if you are firing, is to accept the situation is bad, and that you do need to try to connect with the person on some level.

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I did not read this as a lack of empathy. He even addresses your concerns because he emphasizes that the firing process would come after multiple failures of execution or judgement, not a single instance. And he says that a single failure can be a time for a frank discussion where conflicts are outed, addressed, and resolved for good.

I have (unfairly, I believed) been on the receiving end of the normal "Well your performance isn't great, you need to change your attitude before I trigger a PIP", then a PIP...I would rather have had it the way this article describes. Expectations are made clear, opportunities are given for correction, and a gentle-but-firm push out the door is saved for when things are broken.

Yeah, if anything I think this is a more empathetic approach. While consulting, I've seen companies that are afraid of firing, or even talking about firing, because they want to be "nice". That's obviously bad for the organization, as problem people make messes and drive good employees away.

But it's also bad for the people who eventually get fired. Once the situation has soured, going in every day to face hostile or angry people and wondering if it will be your last day is a terrible experience. I've seen it warp troubled people further.

Personally, the thing I'd add to this is to try to help people find something better. Often the problem isn't "fundamentally bad human" it's "human/position mismatch". Firing someone doesn't have to feel like a funeral.

I think for most professionals, the issue is indeed "human/position mismatch". I've been in that mismatch, and trying to make it work despite myself was one of the hardest things I've ever done. One day I had to decide to move on. Then things got better, after some very painful life changes.

I would have respected management far more if they had said "You're just not a good fit here, but you will be somewhere else, and we wish you the best of luck. Let's help you find something better." Does anyone do that?

It might be emotional for some/most (mainly linked to the private situation of the employee?). But this doesn't mean it is irrational. There is either a clear reason for the fire or the problem lies with the employer. This basic premise is very rational. Some divorces and breakups might be like that, a lot of others not.

Tears will dry up. The reason/facts can help the employee a lot more than a short term comforting moment.

This doesn't mean I completely agree with the author, of course some empathy sounds like a good idea. But that's second to the facts.

I think this amazing post on being kind is needed by the author.

http://boz.com/articles/be-kind.html

Quote: "But believing deeply that I am responsible for how I make others feel has been life changing for me. Being kind turns out to be a long term strategy for maximizing impact."

To a certain degree this is true, but to a much greater degree how other people feel is largely outside of your control.

Yes, being kind is one of the cornerstones of empathetic reciprocity (i.e. the Golden Rule), and being kind as a matter of personal principle is sane; but being kind because you believe you are responsible for the feelings of others... that way lies madness. It leads you into the morass of having to please all of the people all of the time (or else someone's feelings will get hurt), which simply isn't possible (nor should it be).

I find the author's tone to be matter-of-fact, and respectful of the dignity of the person being hired and fired. I know I would prefer this method of being fired, should that day ever come for me.

I like this method because, if it's done as described, it detaches an evaluation of you as an employee from judgements of you as a person. Too often those become jumbled together.

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