He is confusing our stock phrase with something that is an entirely different concept.
He is confusing our stock phrase with something that is an entirely different concept.
For example, most people know that "Arigato" is Japanese for "Thank you". Except that's really wrong. Arigato is inappropriate in most cases, and "Sumasen" or variations should be used. But if you tried to translate them via the dictionary, you'd be quite confused as arigato comes from "thank" and su(mi)masen from "to finish".
You can't just say "This equals this" when you work in another language or culture. You have to learn the native meaning itself.
Arigatou pretty much just means "Thank you".
Arigatou - "Thank you" Sumimasen - "Excuse me" or a milder version of "sorry" Gomennasai - "Sorry"
If I help my Japanese roommate grab some stuff from the convenience store, he says arigatou. If he wants to really be polite he could add on "suman, meiwaku kaketa." (sorry for troubling you)
I'm not arguing against the fact that we shouldn't do literal translations between cultures, but more that you're giving misleading ideas on Japanese language.
If someone holds the door for you, or brings you a napkin, you can pretty much just say "arigatou". They will most probably just reply, "iie".
Source: JLPT N1 and member of a Japanese Teamspeak game clan for 7 years now.
But I'm not going to argue - for example, it may just be that here in Kansai we use them differently. We would definitely say "sumasen" for the things you listed. Just shows how hard it is to get this down from textbooks.
[Edit] Just checked with the friends. It seems like it really depends on the social habits. If a bunch of people started with gomen, then that word will stick, even if it feels weird.
For me, because I started with "arigatou" with them, so my friends naturally used "arigatou" around me instead. However, whether they use "arigatou" or "sumimasen" really depends on their family habits. Currently it's split 30(arigatou)-70(sumimasen) amongst them. Much nuance is learnt today.
So much of proper speech is dependent on who you are with and their preferred idom. Of course formality in the case of uncertainty is usually preferred, but that can lead to both humor and embarrassment.
http://www.tofugu.com/2013/10/24/sorry-for-saying-thank-you-...
http://www.livinglanguage.com/blog/2013/06/20/how-to-say-tha...
No, not really IMHO - much more complicated. The first article (I only skimmed) seemed pretty good, the second was prolly a Japanese person trying to codify it :-) Here's a foreigner's attempt to explain them, based on how I use them (and I'm focusing on "thank you", not all the other meanings):
"su(mi)masen" means literally "it isn't finished" - meaning, I feel the need to repay you. "Arigato" is more literally "thank you", but is more of a "ending, cutting off" feeling. Neither is more polite than the other, just used in different circumstances. Which makes it terribly nuanced.
On the street, in the shops, normal life: "sumasen", which ends up being a lot like "thanks" that we are originally discussing. Why not "arigato"? I think because it would sound really abrupt, cut off ("curt" often used in literature).
Family member passes the salt - "arigato". No need to make a fuss, just a "thanks"
Someone close to the family has given you a gift, done something special: "Arigato gozaimasu!" (with 20 or more little sumasens thrown in) - I couldn't possibly return such a special effort (even though I'll deliver a returning gift to your house tomorrow) so it would be insulting to imply I'm going to.
You get the idea of how nuanced and confusing it can be. You just have to learn it naturally, I think.
Arigatou, literally, means "difficult to be/have" (有り難う (arigatou) is an euphonic change (onbin/音便) of 有り難い (arigatai; ari/aru: be/have...; ~gatai: difficult), which translated like this is just completely weird, but so is literal translation.
Arigatou is fine in many more cases than you claim it to be, but yes, Sumimasen can be appropriate in many cases where you would say "Thank you" in english.
Apparently it is very "親父" and after 13 years my wife informs me I should switch to sumimasen :-)