I also lost an uncle and an aunt in the war. My wife lost countless family members during the 90s. My family was halved and we buried grandparents, uncles and aunts in both world wars. None of that is second-hand to me.
You don’t know where my parents are from or what they lost, or what I have lost. You decided all of it from one word in a comment. That's a bold assumption. As you grow older, you'll learn not to assume. Not everyone tells their grief in the first person. Some of us chose to put it behind us and not lead with it, which doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
Your loss is real and I’m sorry for it. But you told a stranger he “saw no death” and “experienced no grief” without knowing a thing about him. That’s deciding whose pain counts based on where someone lives now, the same thinking that made the 90s possible.
Nobody in this region has a monopoly on grief. I hope you have people around you to help carry yours, as it seems you should relief some of your pain. I hope in ten years time, you will look back at this thread differently.