A reboot fixed it, but it's just such amateur hour with things that have been solved for decades.
I use spotlight to search for the "spotlight" system preferences window. I open the "spotlight" result with the gear icon next to it (scrolling past the "spotlight.prefPane", whatever that is), and where does it take me? The "general" tab of the settings app, of course!
There are so many more that you'd be forgiven for thinking this is some new company's first release of an OS. But nope, just one of the most valuable companies in the world, fumbling basic software shit.