burned_out

I wish I had the answer. Currently I’m planning to talk to my direct manager. I don’t know exactly what to say, or suggest to him. I’m working on that now

Not really. Like I said in some other comments. I’m having trouble detaching. Even when I’m practicing playing my guitar it’s in the back of my head...

It would be a big change - we’d have to sell our home because we would not be able to pay the mortgage. My current salary is almost double that of any offer I was able to get. I’ve talked to many developers in the area and it’s basically the same thing, just for less money.

All that for what? Because I am bored or demotivated.

Those are all valid concerns. It is a risk I am not willing to take without her full support.

Makes sense. We have set up the on call schedule, but there are situations when I get called in outside the schedule. Less often than say a year ago, but it still happens.

I guess that is the core of the issue. I am never switched off of work, and it caught up with me. I am not sure is it just my personality.

Thanks. I wish I could focus on something like that. Whenever I start a new thing I feel like I’m wasting time, when deadlines are approaching. Makes me anxious even more. Paradoxically then I don’t do either which is worse I know.

I guess what I’m saying I can’t seem to detach from problems at work.

Nice project though :)

Please do expand on this.

What do you mean by professional services?

That is absolutely true.

There are some valid points there. Not sure if it is related to the issue. Maybe.

All on point. Changing jobs, scaling down is something I can’t seem to agree on with my SO.

> You may be generally unhappy with your career regardless of title or compensation. You’re allowed to feel that way! Not every “good job” is necessarily a good fit.

I think this may be the biggest factor, with other things mentioned adding to the issue

Attending meetings is valued here. Otherwise you risk being seen as disrespectful to the manager that invited you as a non-optional attendee.

But you may be on to something. The situation is pretty chaotic and I honestly don’t feel like I can help anyone, which is demotivating to me.

The organization has become too bureaucratic too political and I am not in the position to make changes, even if I knew what to change in these circumstances.

Not for me personally, but thanks for the suggestion.

Thanks, I’ll check it out.

At work, I’m just answering emails or handling incident requests or attending online meetings.

Outside work, nothing really. Mostly I fiddle with my guitar or ruminate about the next day.

Thanks for sharing. I’m glad she recovered. 3 months off work sounds like a dream. I have to (somehow) find a way to rest.

I tried running and taking walks. But even during that time I think about work.

Sometimes I feel even more anxious after a walk. Does that make any sense?

Yes, tinker or fight fires after work (24h operation). Wow 6 months sounds impossible to be off work.

A change feels like it would help. But I do have a family (wife, two kids), a mortgage, and I am the sole provider.

And you may be right about the job rot. It’s been 15 years for me... Maybe I’m just too afraid to take risks given my situation and the job market situation in my country.

I can relate to Sunday night anxiety. But I wouldn’t blame this on the disease alone. I’ve been feeling this for some time. I think it was just the last drop.

Impossible deadlines, unclear requirements, time logging literally every task over 15 minutes, constant emergencies, etc. have been eroding my mental health for years now...

The sad thing is that I know it’s not much different in most other places here (I am in south-east Europe, outside EU). At least I get paid decently here. But is it worth it. I don’t know. Just thinking out loud.

I’ve been with this company for 15 years, and at this point I just can’t think of the role I’d enjoy here.

But it’s definitely something to think about. Maybe training if I can convince the “political structures” they need such a role.

I took 3w vacation after recovering from covid (which also took 3w). I just couldn’t face the work. I’ve been back at work for 2w and I am highly inefficient.

I was not aware of that. Maybe it adds to the issue. This situation started before covid.