Have you tried /e/OS?
I was in the same boat as you were and got started couple years ago with the Pinephone. Tried multiple OS's, loved the experience / freedom but at the end of the day, wasnt satisfied with any of the OS's since there was something usually broken.
Found /e/OS one night and everything that i typically do to harden the phone (degoogle the phone, alternative DNS, alternative app store, etc) is built into the phone. Supports a wide amount of devices with A11 / A12 builds coming out soon. The built-in tracker blocker is awesome to have. Uses MicroG instead of Google Play Services. Most apps works, but some are broken because of this
Check it out - https://e.foundation/