I've had similar experiences in such settings. You might even find that you have some particular shared interests, might make plans to get together at some point, but nothing ever comes of it. I guess that is just human nature. My very particular piece of advice: If you are only and want to connect with people, don't limit yourself to Chaos events (or something similar). These gatherings are not very well-suited to making the type of connections you seem to seek. Even people who have been part of the scene for a long time struggle to meet people there. It's pretty much a scene like any other: If you don't meet the right people early on and make some kind of connection it's hard to get further and you will always feel left out to some degree.