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littlelady

189 karma · joined September 27, 2022

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littlelady··on Dolly Parton's Imagination Library
The intention of this program was to get books in the hands of children, who might not have access to a public library. The books were kept free in order to combat the shame often associated with not being able to afford books for your kids. These two services might be catering to two separate (though sometimes overlapping) audiences.
littlelady··on Cities need more trees
I also know this feeling! I think if more people knew did, they would be more supportive of urban green spaces. It's always remarkable to ride my bike through a paved residential area and then cut through this green alleyway-- the temperature and air is so fresh and feels 5 degrees cooler than the street.
littlelady··on Cities need more trees
It's not quite what you mean, but a woman in Ireland has planted over 1000 trees on her 3-acre plot, which was previously overrun with rushes and thought to be barren.

Here are her before and after pictures, maybe it will inspire you too. https://bealtainecottage.com/before-permaculture/

littlelady··on Not everything is behavioral science
> dishwashers have to live at ground level

While less common in domestic kitchens, "raised" dishwashers are a thing. A friend of mine designed his dream kitchen and his dishwasher (just a standard domestic dishwasher) is at about hip height, next to the cabinets where dishes are stored and above the drawers that house heavier pots and pans.

littlelady··on I should have loved biology (2020)
I feel very lucky to have had very talented and passionate teachers in my K-12 education. Their enthusiasm for their subjects was infectious!

I'm currently tutoring a pupil who isn't so lucky. Trying to get her interested in the dry material that she has to do is by far one of the greatest challenges and has required me to generate an interest in it that I can pass on to her.

littlelady··on Analyzing a Baking Recipe
This blog was created in 2004 which coincides with the peak of Alton Brown's show "Good Eats" and the introduction of more "scientific cooking". Perhaps the name was inspired by that? Though the "about" section on the webpage claims the name was chosen without too much consideration.

> About the name: Cooking For Engineers Michael selected the name "Cooking For Engineers" on a whim. He has no idea if it means "To cook for the purposes of providing engineers with food" or "To instruct engineers in the science and art of cooking". He likes the ambiguity, and other people seem to find the name intriguing and even interesting. He regrets that the name can be misread (when in a rush) to be "Cooking Foreigners".

This is just some food for thought, but I think taking a scientific approach to home cooking can make it more accessible to men. By that I mean: making home cooking seem less like caregiving and more like "rational science" legitimizes it as a masculine activity. Thus allowing men to enjoy it, judgment-free.

littlelady··on Mario meets Pareto
Agreed! But it also depends on the goals for the game--- min-maxing isn't the only way to play and not everyone is super competitive.
littlelady··on Male archetypes in fairy tales
A lot of my thoughts are dependent on geographical location, culture, etc.

> "Mansplaining" reads as the most superficial dismissal of somebody's opinion, as it instantly disregards a person's whole argument based on a birth trait. It's not any more noble or justified than brushing aside somebody's opinion as being done by a "hysterical woman", a term that is thankfully relegated to the past.

Mansplaining is less about "birth traits" and more about socialization. A lot of women experience it. That being said, I'm sure people misuse it as a killerphrase. Side note: the "hysterical woman" idea is prevalent where I live. This may be one of the reasons that women's pain is often neglected or not taken seriously by clinical staff[1].

> people online have criticized me for attending a Japanese festival with my family.

Whoever said that is being overzealous: cultural appreciation is not the same as appropriation, plus cultural festivals are usually about sharing cultures. But on your part, it's online. Why let that into your life?

> I have felt far more social discrimination for being male than I have ever received for being queer, disabled, or an immigrant. And it's not just that being male means you are explicitly forbidden from some groups/activities, it's also that the same people that act deeply indignant at other forms of racism and sexism quickly turn into gatekeepers that openly and proudly discriminate against men.

I'm sorry you've experienced that. I can understand "women's only" activities, e.g. yoga classes or career events. TBH, my local yoga studio also offers a men's only course. In my experience women's only activities/group are about helping women gain their confidence, esp. when they are a minority in a larger group. Perhaps those were the motivations behind the women's cycling webinar?

Analogously, I think groups for men working in jobs typically associated with women, e.g. child-care are also important.

[1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/wom...

littlelady··on Male archetypes in fairy tales
> We demand diversity and inclusivity, but somehow the more "able-bodied neurotypical white heterosexual male" checkboxes you tick, the less your opinion and well-being matters. (And I only tick two of those)

Let's look at this more from a structural view: "Able-bodied neurotypical white heterosexual male" is the assumed default in "Western" society. What do I mean by that? White neurotypical heterosexual men built society for others in their demographic. Rights for women, POC, LGBTQIA people, neurodivergent, and disabled people, etc. have always been secondary.

On a systemic level, I do not agree with you that WNTHSM (I'm not writing that out again) are less valued than other groups. Let's just look at healthcare. Men make up the majority of participants in medical studies[1], black patients are perceived as more able to cope with pain[2]. Let's look at the law: Women could not open bank accounts without their husbands' permission in the US until 1974 under the Equal Credit Opportunity Act. Insurance will often cover viagra, but not birth control. Look up anything about redlining and read about how black people couldn't get fair loans to buy homes.

We all have to navigate systems in life: educational, judicial, healthcare, financial systems, etc... I would guess you don't face as much/the same adversity navigating as someone belonging to zero of the five mentioned demographics, likewise it's harder for you than for those belonging to 5/5 demographics. How can you make a system work for more people? By involving them when redesigning the system.

I won't deny your feelings, but would ask you to consider specifically when you've felt your opinions and well-being do not matter.

[1]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8812498/

[2]: https://www.aamc.org/news/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain

littlelady··on I'm a Developer Not a Compiler
> A good engineer thinks abstractly in terms of designing and building systems, they think in terms of algorithms, components, and engineering design. They do not necessarily know all of the details of syntax of a given language, especially if they are used to a good IDE which does it for them...

Interviewing sucks, but on the other hand it's really hard to test system design during an interview. There are lots of algorithms, data structures, design patterns, and language features that could be asked about. That being said, experienced Java programmers will know where List is located, even if they've been using an IDE for years.

> Even the Java Certification Exams tend to focus on questions of syntax and compilation as opposed to either how well you can actually program or how well you can design a system.

Yeah, because it's about showing familiarity with the language and it's features in a way that is inexpensive to grade.

littlelady··on Use Simple Language
Complex sentences and uncommon words obfuscate meaning, when they should be conveying. I feel this needless complexity is often treated like country-club dues; you need to use it to belong.

Patrick Henry Winston was well known his achievements in machine learning, but also for his yearly lectures on communication. His book "Make it Clear" is full of great lessons, which have improved my writing/speaking. As basic as it sounds, considering my audience and intent have greatly improved my ability to express my ideas.

littlelady··on Five differences between human and AI tutors
I don't have any experience with Chatbot tutors, but I have used ChatGPT to troubleshoot problems. Most of the time, it hasn't helped me directly, e.g. solutions were incorrect, weird, or overly complicated. However, explaining my problem was helpful.

I also have experience tutoring struggling school students. The impact of emotional intelligence when tutoring cannot be overstated-- in many cases you'll have to work on improving low self-efficacy. Building a trusting relationship is very important to this process; knowing when to push your pupil or back off is vital to being a good tutor.

Will a great chatbot ever replace a tutor? I don't know.

littlelady··on Why are most sofas so bad?
That's true! I am just a bigger fan of the pieces made with stiffer leather, which are more expensive.
littlelady··on Why are most sofas so bad?
Some years ago I found a leatherworker, who sells simple handbags/clutches starting at about 300 EUR. He also sells wallets and belts. He has a limited selection of styles, but they are made-to-order thus you can select the colors when you place your order.

He isn't local to me, but I've met him and watched him stitch his bags together and chatted about his style (minimalist, sleek). I couldn't afford anything from him at the time (his smaller items were sold out), but kept his card handy. I'll provide a link, in case anyone is interested.

http://www.foerster-taschen.de/

littlelady··on Leadership is a hell of a drug
> "why did you need someone from outside the organization who doesn't know a damn thing about our work to come in and tell you how you're screwing up? I'll tell you for free! That is a breathtaking level of disconnection."

There are times where external advice can be helpful, but it can also be a form of plausible deniability. Managers can display a "willingness" to improve a situation, without engaging with their team or changing their actions.

I think a big part of this is ego, as stated in the post, but a lot of the times it's piss poor communication skills.

The worst manager I've ever dealt had been very skilled engineer, but he suddenly found himself in a position where he had to actually listen to subordinates and mediate conflicts between departments. He simply did not. Mind you, this is not a large organization. Departments almost never talked to each other, even if they were on the same floor. Feedback was futile and met with hostility. Bright and motivated employees were quickly demoralized and retention was low.

littlelady··on Clothing Is a Virus
I'm going to write my own thoughts here.

1. "Clothing does nothing interesting on its own" - Sure, clothing is not sentient, but this statement is false. Clothing provides shelter. It warms. It protects us from the sun, from rain. It expresses personality. It expresses culture, status, values. It does a lot.

2. As the author states. For any X that is "an artificial product[1]" the statement "X is a virus" could be applied. So why associate clothing with a virus? "It's more accurate in the case of clothing when you distinguish different species." isn't an argument. There are varieties of many objects.

So why relate clothing with a virus? In a further example from the article, shoes? Why equate something often associated with women/femininity as something associated with sickness?

Interesting arguments about the "fast fashion" industry are missing in favor of dime a dozen misogyny.

[1] Never mind that clothing is not an artificial object. It's a necessity to protect our bodies from the elements.

littlelady··on Look, ma, no matrices
Thank you for sharing, I really enjoyed her talk.
littlelady··on Notes on paper (2023)
I had the same issue with the G2. I've always noticed some skipping with rollerballs, but none were as bad as the G2. It was astonishingly hard to write with.

The Energels and Sarasas are the best pens I've found: affordable, nice to use, reliable, and refills fit a variety of pen bodies. If there's skipping, wiping off the tip of the pen to remove any grime resolves it.

In case it's helpful: I place my hand under the text I'm writing, aka "underwriting" and use light to medium pressure.

littlelady··on Notes on paper (2023)
I'm left-handed, so I like fast-drying ink. I prefer a thin, but dark line. Here are some of the pens I like using.

1. Pentel Energel needlepoints 0.5 (BLN75 or the BLN105); refills fit a Lamy Tipo. It's a great everyday pen.

2. Zebra Sarasa 0.5 - lots of variations of this pen with lots of pretty ink colors and cute body styles. I would use it more, if it were available in local shops. I don't order stationery.

I tried the often lauded Pilot G2, but wasn't a fan. It often would smear.

littlelady··on Writer's block is not real
There's some good advice in this article, but I think it would have been more compelling, had the author not claimed 20 years of writing sans writer's block.
littlelady··on Ask HN: Does procrastination advice help you?
Lots of things correlate to procrastination, including ADHD and depression.

Some procrastination techniques have helped me, lots haven’t, even more only work some of the time. I generally have to swap things out to keep it fresh.

I’ve collected helpful techniques in a sort of Personal User’s Manual[1] and tried to sort them by what I perceive to be the problem, e. g. perfectionism, anxiety/fear, overwhelm. I also have a list of resources (physical, mental, people,…) that I go through to see if one of those can help me.

My idea is similar to The Anti-Planner by Dani Danovan[2], which I personally haven’t tried yet, but have heard great things about.

If wished, I’d be happy to share specifics. I wanted to keep it semi-brief since I’m on mobile.

[1] https://add.org/tadd-2019-your-personal-owners-manual-pom-wh...

[2] https://anti-planner.com/shop/the-anti-planner-how-to-get-sh...

littlelady··on Stop postponing things by embracing the mess
Your response demonstrates you didn't engage with my response. ADHD is not a character flaw, it is a disability.

1. More deadlines for smaller chunks does not imply that the deadlines are stricter; it's about preventing overwhelm and helping with time-blindness.

2. Focusing on the wrong thing is not (always) about "enjoyment", so much as it's about being overwhelmed, bored, under/overstimulated, or being unsure of what one "should" be working on.

3. Your wording, particularly "kicking and screaming" reveals your disdain for people with ADHD. You are not "very open suggestions" on accommodations as you claim to be.

Here's a list of books about ADHD: https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-book-recommendat...

Here's an article, if you can't be bothered to read a book about it: https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-wish-you-knew

littlelady··on Stop postponing things by embracing the mess
RSD is a term used to explain a behavior. It doesn't have to be a medical diagnosis for it to be something people experience.

> It's more about ensuring they appreciate the severity of the deadline.

People with ADHD are aware that there are consequences for missing deadlines, so aware they've coined the phrase "ADHD Tax"[1]. Shaming doesn't motivate people, especially people who have issues with motivation in the first place[2]. It just causes them to withdrawal.

> If I tell an ADHD person to try their best to meet the deadline, they might have not started at all, and end up falling far behind, or start making excuses because they are captivated by another task.

Telling someone to "try their best" doesn't actually address the problem their having.

Folks with ADHD aren't always just distracted. There are a number of factors at play with ADHD: poor memory (e.g. often "out of sight, out of mind"), poor organizational skills, and often time-blindness make it hard for people with ADHD to structure their lives. All of these things fall under "executive function"-- which is impaired in people with ADHD[3]. Ex: someone with ADHD might spend a week working on some random detail that doesn't matter, because they think it's important.

Deadline extensions are only one type of accommodation, but imo they don't really address what the person is struggling with.

There a multitude of other accommodations. This may include letting an employee wear headphones, or having a "do not disturb" sign (that is actually respected), or partnering with an employee with especially good organizational skills. Allowing them to block out a few hours of the day where they will not respond to phone calls or emails, etc...

For projects: assistance with breaking down tasks and setting priorities paired with frequent deadlines can combat overwhelm and help with consistency. There are lots of ideas out there, here's a particularly helpful list[4]. Do not micromanage-- you'll make it worse.

> I can only conclude that ADHD people need a shorter leash regarding scope and stricter deadlines, and not a comforting presence to reduce the pressure.

The most helpful accommodations will depend on the individual, but now you have lots of ideas. Of course, they hinge on the employee feeling comfortable enough with you to actually discuss what they need.

[1]: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-tax-financial-wellness-mone...

[2]: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/longing-nostalgia/20...

[3]: https://www.additudemag.com/7-executive-function-deficits-li...

[4]: https://add.org/adhd-workplace-accommodations-guide/

littlelady··on Stop postponing things by embracing the mess
I cannot overstate how odious I find opinion. Yes, people with ADHD need structure and accountability. But they don't need more shame or punishment.

Shame is malignant. It is an unproductive feeling that hinders people from seeking out accommodations that would help them.

This idea of punitively shaming people with ADHD is doubly asinine, because people with ADHD often suffer from rejection sensitivity dysphoria[1], which already can make them sensitive to embarrassment and prone to having low self-esteem. Emotional dysregulation[2], another "fun" part of having ADHD makes it hard to recover from the experienced rejection.

Some research is more focused on self-regulating aspects of ADHD, as opposed to relying solely on medication[3]. This source is focused on pediatrics, but self-regulating therapies exists for adults, e.g. DBT.

[1]: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejecti...

[2]: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25065-emotion...

[3]: https://www.cdc.uci.edu/research/

littlelady··on Writing documentation for your house
I do this already. We have a binder that contains all of the projects that we have done since moving into our home sorted by area and then by year.

I wouldn't do it digitally, because I also keep paint samples and notes that I've taken during the work in the binder. If I had to re-enter those notes I don't know that they would happen.

littlelady··on Eardrum Suck: The Mystery Solved (2019)
Interesting... I experience this effect to the point where I almost never use the noise-cancelling function for headphones, instead I prefer passive noise insulation. Someday I'd love to have custom IEMs.
littlelady··on NHS England gives key role in handling patient data to US spy tech firm Palantir
This is just not realistic. Medical staff have to take notes, so they know what dosage of medication your own, when your vitals were last checked by staff, where you're supposed to go for testing, etc... not to mention to prevent and protect them from malpractice suits.

I would think contacting the head of your local hospitals would prove more helpful than just saying "don't record this case".

littlelady··on Solar energy storage breakthrough could make households self-sufficient
Danke sehr!
littlelady··on Solar energy storage breakthrough could make households self-sufficient
Could you share the name of the podcast?
littlelady··on On letting go of spite
This is a really nice playlist, but how are you supposed to use it? Are you "supposed" to go through all 8 meditations in one day? Or just one once per day? I see it's from a book, but would like to try these out before reading it.
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