189 karma · joined September 27, 2022
Here are her before and after pictures, maybe it will inspire you too. https://bealtainecottage.com/before-permaculture/
While less common in domestic kitchens, "raised" dishwashers are a thing. A friend of mine designed his dream kitchen and his dishwasher (just a standard domestic dishwasher) is at about hip height, next to the cabinets where dishes are stored and above the drawers that house heavier pots and pans.
I'm currently tutoring a pupil who isn't so lucky. Trying to get her interested in the dry material that she has to do is by far one of the greatest challenges and has required me to generate an interest in it that I can pass on to her.
> About the name: Cooking For Engineers Michael selected the name "Cooking For Engineers" on a whim. He has no idea if it means "To cook for the purposes of providing engineers with food" or "To instruct engineers in the science and art of cooking". He likes the ambiguity, and other people seem to find the name intriguing and even interesting. He regrets that the name can be misread (when in a rush) to be "Cooking Foreigners".
This is just some food for thought, but I think taking a scientific approach to home cooking can make it more accessible to men. By that I mean: making home cooking seem less like caregiving and more like "rational science" legitimizes it as a masculine activity. Thus allowing men to enjoy it, judgment-free.
> "Mansplaining" reads as the most superficial dismissal of somebody's opinion, as it instantly disregards a person's whole argument based on a birth trait. It's not any more noble or justified than brushing aside somebody's opinion as being done by a "hysterical woman", a term that is thankfully relegated to the past.
Mansplaining is less about "birth traits" and more about socialization. A lot of women experience it. That being said, I'm sure people misuse it as a killerphrase. Side note: the "hysterical woman" idea is prevalent where I live. This may be one of the reasons that women's pain is often neglected or not taken seriously by clinical staff[1].
> people online have criticized me for attending a Japanese festival with my family.
Whoever said that is being overzealous: cultural appreciation is not the same as appropriation, plus cultural festivals are usually about sharing cultures. But on your part, it's online. Why let that into your life?
> I have felt far more social discrimination for being male than I have ever received for being queer, disabled, or an immigrant. And it's not just that being male means you are explicitly forbidden from some groups/activities, it's also that the same people that act deeply indignant at other forms of racism and sexism quickly turn into gatekeepers that openly and proudly discriminate against men.
I'm sorry you've experienced that. I can understand "women's only" activities, e.g. yoga classes or career events. TBH, my local yoga studio also offers a men's only course. In my experience women's only activities/group are about helping women gain their confidence, esp. when they are a minority in a larger group. Perhaps those were the motivations behind the women's cycling webinar?
Analogously, I think groups for men working in jobs typically associated with women, e.g. child-care are also important.
[1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/wom...
Let's look at this more from a structural view: "Able-bodied neurotypical white heterosexual male" is the assumed default in "Western" society. What do I mean by that? White neurotypical heterosexual men built society for others in their demographic. Rights for women, POC, LGBTQIA people, neurodivergent, and disabled people, etc. have always been secondary.
On a systemic level, I do not agree with you that WNTHSM (I'm not writing that out again) are less valued than other groups. Let's just look at healthcare. Men make up the majority of participants in medical studies[1], black patients are perceived as more able to cope with pain[2]. Let's look at the law: Women could not open bank accounts without their husbands' permission in the US until 1974 under the Equal Credit Opportunity Act. Insurance will often cover viagra, but not birth control. Look up anything about redlining and read about how black people couldn't get fair loans to buy homes.
We all have to navigate systems in life: educational, judicial, healthcare, financial systems, etc... I would guess you don't face as much/the same adversity navigating as someone belonging to zero of the five mentioned demographics, likewise it's harder for you than for those belonging to 5/5 demographics. How can you make a system work for more people? By involving them when redesigning the system.
I won't deny your feelings, but would ask you to consider specifically when you've felt your opinions and well-being do not matter.
[1]: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8812498/
[2]: https://www.aamc.org/news/how-we-fail-black-patients-pain
Interviewing sucks, but on the other hand it's really hard to test system design during an interview. There are lots of algorithms, data structures, design patterns, and language features that could be asked about. That being said, experienced Java programmers will know where List is located, even if they've been using an IDE for years.
> Even the Java Certification Exams tend to focus on questions of syntax and compilation as opposed to either how well you can actually program or how well you can design a system.
Yeah, because it's about showing familiarity with the language and it's features in a way that is inexpensive to grade.
Patrick Henry Winston was well known his achievements in machine learning, but also for his yearly lectures on communication. His book "Make it Clear" is full of great lessons, which have improved my writing/speaking. As basic as it sounds, considering my audience and intent have greatly improved my ability to express my ideas.
I also have experience tutoring struggling school students. The impact of emotional intelligence when tutoring cannot be overstated-- in many cases you'll have to work on improving low self-efficacy. Building a trusting relationship is very important to this process; knowing when to push your pupil or back off is vital to being a good tutor.
Will a great chatbot ever replace a tutor? I don't know.
He isn't local to me, but I've met him and watched him stitch his bags together and chatted about his style (minimalist, sleek). I couldn't afford anything from him at the time (his smaller items were sold out), but kept his card handy. I'll provide a link, in case anyone is interested.
There are times where external advice can be helpful, but it can also be a form of plausible deniability. Managers can display a "willingness" to improve a situation, without engaging with their team or changing their actions.
I think a big part of this is ego, as stated in the post, but a lot of the times it's piss poor communication skills.
The worst manager I've ever dealt had been very skilled engineer, but he suddenly found himself in a position where he had to actually listen to subordinates and mediate conflicts between departments. He simply did not. Mind you, this is not a large organization. Departments almost never talked to each other, even if they were on the same floor. Feedback was futile and met with hostility. Bright and motivated employees were quickly demoralized and retention was low.
1. "Clothing does nothing interesting on its own" - Sure, clothing is not sentient, but this statement is false. Clothing provides shelter. It warms. It protects us from the sun, from rain. It expresses personality. It expresses culture, status, values. It does a lot.
2. As the author states. For any X that is "an artificial product[1]" the statement "X is a virus" could be applied. So why associate clothing with a virus? "It's more accurate in the case of clothing when you distinguish different species." isn't an argument. There are varieties of many objects.
So why relate clothing with a virus? In a further example from the article, shoes? Why equate something often associated with women/femininity as something associated with sickness?
Interesting arguments about the "fast fashion" industry are missing in favor of dime a dozen misogyny.
[1] Never mind that clothing is not an artificial object. It's a necessity to protect our bodies from the elements.
The Energels and Sarasas are the best pens I've found: affordable, nice to use, reliable, and refills fit a variety of pen bodies. If there's skipping, wiping off the tip of the pen to remove any grime resolves it.
In case it's helpful: I place my hand under the text I'm writing, aka "underwriting" and use light to medium pressure.
1. Pentel Energel needlepoints 0.5 (BLN75 or the BLN105); refills fit a Lamy Tipo. It's a great everyday pen.
2. Zebra Sarasa 0.5 - lots of variations of this pen with lots of pretty ink colors and cute body styles. I would use it more, if it were available in local shops. I don't order stationery.
I tried the often lauded Pilot G2, but wasn't a fan. It often would smear.
Some procrastination techniques have helped me, lots haven’t, even more only work some of the time. I generally have to swap things out to keep it fresh.
I’ve collected helpful techniques in a sort of Personal User’s Manual[1] and tried to sort them by what I perceive to be the problem, e. g. perfectionism, anxiety/fear, overwhelm. I also have a list of resources (physical, mental, people,…) that I go through to see if one of those can help me.
My idea is similar to The Anti-Planner by Dani Danovan[2], which I personally haven’t tried yet, but have heard great things about.
If wished, I’d be happy to share specifics. I wanted to keep it semi-brief since I’m on mobile.
[1] https://add.org/tadd-2019-your-personal-owners-manual-pom-wh...
[2] https://anti-planner.com/shop/the-anti-planner-how-to-get-sh...
1. More deadlines for smaller chunks does not imply that the deadlines are stricter; it's about preventing overwhelm and helping with time-blindness.
2. Focusing on the wrong thing is not (always) about "enjoyment", so much as it's about being overwhelmed, bored, under/overstimulated, or being unsure of what one "should" be working on.
3. Your wording, particularly "kicking and screaming" reveals your disdain for people with ADHD. You are not "very open suggestions" on accommodations as you claim to be.
Here's a list of books about ADHD: https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/adhd-book-recommendat...
Here's an article, if you can't be bothered to read a book about it: https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-wish-you-knew
> It's more about ensuring they appreciate the severity of the deadline.
People with ADHD are aware that there are consequences for missing deadlines, so aware they've coined the phrase "ADHD Tax"[1]. Shaming doesn't motivate people, especially people who have issues with motivation in the first place[2]. It just causes them to withdrawal.
> If I tell an ADHD person to try their best to meet the deadline, they might have not started at all, and end up falling far behind, or start making excuses because they are captivated by another task.
Telling someone to "try their best" doesn't actually address the problem their having.
Folks with ADHD aren't always just distracted. There are a number of factors at play with ADHD: poor memory (e.g. often "out of sight, out of mind"), poor organizational skills, and often time-blindness make it hard for people with ADHD to structure their lives. All of these things fall under "executive function"-- which is impaired in people with ADHD[3]. Ex: someone with ADHD might spend a week working on some random detail that doesn't matter, because they think it's important.
Deadline extensions are only one type of accommodation, but imo they don't really address what the person is struggling with.
There a multitude of other accommodations. This may include letting an employee wear headphones, or having a "do not disturb" sign (that is actually respected), or partnering with an employee with especially good organizational skills. Allowing them to block out a few hours of the day where they will not respond to phone calls or emails, etc...
For projects: assistance with breaking down tasks and setting priorities paired with frequent deadlines can combat overwhelm and help with consistency. There are lots of ideas out there, here's a particularly helpful list[4]. Do not micromanage-- you'll make it worse.
> I can only conclude that ADHD people need a shorter leash regarding scope and stricter deadlines, and not a comforting presence to reduce the pressure.
The most helpful accommodations will depend on the individual, but now you have lots of ideas. Of course, they hinge on the employee feeling comfortable enough with you to actually discuss what they need.
[1]: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-tax-financial-wellness-mone...
[2]: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/longing-nostalgia/20...
[3]: https://www.additudemag.com/7-executive-function-deficits-li...
Shame is malignant. It is an unproductive feeling that hinders people from seeking out accommodations that would help them.
This idea of punitively shaming people with ADHD is doubly asinine, because people with ADHD often suffer from rejection sensitivity dysphoria[1], which already can make them sensitive to embarrassment and prone to having low self-esteem. Emotional dysregulation[2], another "fun" part of having ADHD makes it hard to recover from the experienced rejection.
Some research is more focused on self-regulating aspects of ADHD, as opposed to relying solely on medication[3]. This source is focused on pediatrics, but self-regulating therapies exists for adults, e.g. DBT.
[1]: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejecti...
[2]: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25065-emotion...
I wouldn't do it digitally, because I also keep paint samples and notes that I've taken during the work in the binder. If I had to re-enter those notes I don't know that they would happen.
I would think contacting the head of your local hospitals would prove more helpful than just saying "don't record this case".