290 karma · joined June 13, 2016
I hardly believe so. Reddit is an echo chamber by itself and people's judgment there is way far from perfect. In this subreddit you can see a similar effect than the "fake news" one: present an emotional scenario in which you look like the victim, no matter what you do, and the majority will get on your side. That's why you need to hear all the parties involved in a conflict resolution, otherwise you can be easily manipulated.
Many TV shows fail on this point trying to surprise the viewer with an unexpected result which ironically becomes so common that ends up being predictable from the first few minutes of the show.
Edit: they also fail in number 2 and 5.
That surprises me because Spanish is one of the few languages that what you read is pretty much what you have to say. Each letter has its unique sound and in very few cases the combination of them forces you to make an unexpected sound (for example "que" that would be expected to sound k-u-e but actually sounds like k-e). The entonation is another story but despite of it, your pronunciation should be clear enough to understand you.
"Why Not? You Do." The golem lowered his arm.
"What?" snapped Moist. "I do not! Who told you that?"
"I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three Eight People," said the golem calmly.
"I have never laid a finger on anyone in my life, Mr Pump. I may be–– all the things you know I am, but I am not a killer! I have never so much as drawn a sword!"
"No, You Have Not. But You Have Stolen, Embezzled, Defrauded And Swindled Without Discrimination, Mr Lipvig. You Have Ruined Businesses And Destroyed Jobs. When Banks Fail, It Is Seldom Bankers Who Starve. Your Actions Have Taken Money From Those Who Had Little Enough To Begin With. In A Myriad Small Ways You Have Hastened The Deaths Of Many. You Do Not Know Them. You Did Not See Them Bleed. But You Snatched Bread From Their Mouths And Tore Clothes From Their Backs. For Sport, Mr Lipvig. For Sport. For The Joy Of The Game.”
― Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
So do you consider "miserable people who can't afford anything better" all those gamers with Ultra PCs?
Also for the impostor syndrome, do this once in a while and compare old videos with the new ones; you'll be surprised with the result ;)
But now you have a nice reminder for watering your "lamp" when it isn't glowing as usual.
As you have said, she had a void that needed to fill and a very difficult past to deal with. Being sure about what ones want is not that easy in that scenario. She probably got engaged with you hoping that you could fill that gap or simply because it could bring some stability to her life.
I don't blame you for having tough thoughts about her. You'll need a thick skin to get out of that relationship but it's not as simple as saying "if she wasn’t sure she didn’t want to settle down...she shouldn’t have".
Go step by step to avoid feeling overwhelmed by all the things you have to learn. Be also aware of the "imposter syndrome"[1] which many people feel despite of being great professionals. Try not to compare yourself with others too much and congratulate yourself when you achieve something important for you, even if it looks like something small.
A big part of the job will be to keep a good state of mind and leave aside any negative thought like "this is too difficult", "I can't do this", "I'm too old for this", etc.
Good luck!