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passing_throughon The Effects of Early Relational Trauma (2001) [pdf]

First 20 years of my life was me waiting to get out of the environment I was in. The next 5 trying to stay alive. The past 5 improving myself, my mental health, the way I view life and relate to others.

It's all good in the end. For 25 years of my life I thought everyone faked being happy. I now know that it actually is possible to be happy :).

passing_throughon Ask HN: What do you talk about in 1-on-1s with your managers?

Netflix, movies, TV shows, hobbies, personal life. Sometimes work stuff.

passing_throughon A systems model of anxiety-driven procrastination

Hey, thanks for this! I've been considering going to the doctor for a long time, but never have. I just sent my GP an e-mail and hopefully will have an appointment set up soon.

passing_throughon Estonia is a place for independent minds

I wouldn't say this is necessarily true in younger generations. I grew up with kids from Russian families in school & kindergarten and the distrust of Russians instilled in you by your parents quickly fades.

Older generations are a bit more problematic in this regard. I would say there's a general hate towards older Russians that still can't speak Estonian, even from younger generations.

However, I would say Russians are generally disadvantaged in Estonia and that's a big source of issues. In my childhood, younger Russians tended to be poorer and therefore were more involved in various criminal activities. Most of my friends and I were afraid of Russians in our area, as they liked to pick fights and generally mess with you.

passing_throughon Most People With Addiction Grow Out of It (2014)

I was addicted to computer games for a while. I never even really liked gaming, but it was a way to tune out the horrible life at home. Eventually, I kind of trained myself to like games; it's really weird too, thinking back I was the kid who liked long-term gratification over short-term, but eventually gaming changed me.

After I moved out, it was an anchor of sorts and I started playing even more. By this point, my gaming habits definitely matched up with the definition of addiction - at one point, I even went ~2 days without sleeping and eating.

The big change for me was getting a job. I couldn't fuck this up (considering I had already flunked out of university, getting a job in my dream field was a miracle), so I quit computer games. I've "relapsed" a few times since and every single time it has been horrible. It consumes me completely. I have now also decided to basically cut out any easy-to-consume entertainment out of my life. I spend my free time on books, nature and sports.

Looking back, it's the experience of totally fucking up my life through addiction that has helped me beat my addiction.