I can assure you that brandur knows SQL. :-)
(I don't know him personally, but have been following his blog for years.)
What these "just write SQL" rants are missing is encapsulation--let's say you've got a business logic, like "if the account is disabled, render the account name as 'Foo (disabled)'".
You want to write this logic in your preferred backend language, Go/TS/C/etc.
This works fine, in the /account/X endpoint (just load the account, and apply the logic).
But now what about the /accounts/client:Y endpoint (load all accounts, all the logic for all of their accounts)
As time goes by, you end up having 10-20 endpoints that all "return some part of account" as their payload, and you want the same "Foo (disabled)" business logic.
Your options are:
1. Build a single, giant SQL statement that strings together every snippet of business logic applicable to this endpoint (bulk friendly b/c the db is doing all the cross-entity work w/joins)
2. Push the business logic down into the db layer (simple for this, just string concate with an if, but what about anything that is a loop? doable in SQL but tedious)
3. Use your language's abstractions, like functions, to organize the business logic (what Brandur is attempting to do).
Nearly everyone wants to do 3, because 1 doesn't scale as your business logic becomes more & more sophisticated (copy/pasting it around every endpoint's single-giant SQL statements, or pushing it down into the db as views/stored procedures).