129 karma · joined February 19, 2018
LOL. I'd probably read it like a bank heist hostage. Ideally, while blinking rapidly and visibly sweating on the Zoom meeting.
I see myself disassembling the toilet.
Apathetic? Maybe. But even if we were all on the same page as a group (which we're not) I don't see how we have the numbers to force a systemic turnover on our own.
I am, of course, a member of GenX. Sometimes, as Planck said, progress has to happen one funeral at a time. None of this brings me any joy to observe.
As a tangent I would add that the damage isn't limited to the perfectionist. At some point one has to consider how the rigidity of perfectionism affects their relationships. It can be a self-indulgence in which one engages at the expense family or friends.
Its non-opinionated, decentralized but moderated (pun unintended) discussion was a huge help when I quit drinking five years ago.
I'll just add that my path lined up with others who have commented here. Once it dawned on me that it was a crutch, and not just for fun, it felt like time to put it aside and do some work on myself.
However a series of steps or exploring a higher power wasn't what I felt worked for me. /r/StopDrinking turned out to be that sweet spot.
My partner does this. OTOH, I love sleep and feeling refreshed when I've had enough. She's open about being pretty driven and makes her choice based on what's important to her.
Seems to me workism is part of that calculus. Balance usually requires opportunity cost. One has to value sleep, time for hobbies, time to spend with family... more than the real or perceptual carrot offered by wrapping one's identity in work. Or not. It's a choice regardless of whether made consciously or not.
I'll finish by acknowledging there are structural inequalities that make this, for many, a choice from a set of equally unappealing options.
As a member of the described expert class, I'd say we have limitations equal to those of elites. That's not examined.
+1. It's the only way to be sure.