Principal Engineer at one of whatever we're calling the tech companies with ten figure market caps. A couple nice exits from previous jobs. Low seven figure net worth. Married. Lots of friends. In my late 30s to mid 40s.
You'd probably recognize some of my projects.
I was in a gifted and talented program for a while as a kid. Tested at 99.9th percentile.
ADHD, ASD, treatment resistant depression. ACE score of 5, but I feel that misses a lot of very specific trauma.
One of my previous partners abused me. That was many years ago, but I still have severe anxiety, constantly worried someone will scream at me for things I had no control over.
I'm so depressed I have trouble taking care of myself and regularly think about killing myself. In therapy for years, not sure if it's helping.
I genuinely have no idea how I hold myself together at work, it's like I'm a different person there.
How much more could I have been, had things been a little different?