The anxiety mostly revolves around the feeling of not feeling valuable:
- It kills me whenever I see other people get invited to meetings where I have built a significant portion of the product and I don't.
- It kills me whenever our team is growing and we start interviewing new candidates, I volunteer to help recruit, but I am never considered.
- Recently the manager divided the software up into 'areas of ownership' and I got all the legacy tech debt low profile stuff. Even though I've worked on a significant portion of the software. It kills me.
I can't seem to pin point how to grow in my currently work and it is making me quite sad. I initially came in acting all humble and I think that hurt me. I don't think I'm any less skilled than the other software engs but they sure make me feel like that. It seems like every time we hire a some new person from a FAANG company, they instantly get praised where as a non-FAANG person (myself) just gets pushed down. I keep saying that it's me and I need to keep performing the best I can and ignore all this noise, but I can't. I have not quite figured out how to fix this situation I'm in.