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I think you are taking the terms used too literally.

I certainly wouldn't call coke or pepsi bland or inoffensive. They are certainly familiar since we have all had them hundreds of times. The article does a good job of explaining why the store brand sodas don't capture the same market share.

And, yes, mayo and poundcake are "bland" and "unexciting". But I've had some pretty terrible homemade mayo and poundcakes.

That... actually sounds like an amazing idea.

I'm pretty sure that "bland to the point of complete neutral inoffensiveness" is a pop music category.