You're not wrong. Difficulty is central to these games, and also IMO often overstated and/or misunderstood. At least in the Fromsoft titles you mentioned, pattern memorization is way more important than straight up twitch reflexes. I would bet good money that many players who have given up would find their groove if they just spent some more time on it.

All that said, I don't see why accessibility has to be a dirty word. Purposefully difficult game design does exclude players. For every inspiring story of someone completing a challenge while suffering from a disability, there are 10 more who completely miss out on what are - difficulty aside - genuinely interesting games. I personally know soulsborne fans who mainly like exploring the world, and for whom boss encounters are just a necessary evil.

That's honestly fair - these are rich worlds with interesting lore and a unique form for storytelling, so I totally get just enjoying the game(s) on those merits alone. It then follows that I think others who are similarly inclined but perhaps not quite as able should be able to enjoy the same experience.