Hopefully "no hair in an unclean bed" but I guess everyone's expectations are just at rock bottom these days to the point that we think this is an example to compare things with?
Sorry you seem to have had so many problems with your rooms though, usually mine are a lot better than unclean sheets or worse.
I.e. this wasn't "and I want to speak to your manager!" it was "oh, I guess needing to start by comparing what happens when we just assume things are going to go wrong is where we're at nowadays?". Marriott is good because these kinds of things are rare in the first place, not because you get a nice apology.