softsound

I can think of a guy who became a local bomber in my city who was homeschooled. He would put bombs into people's mailboxes or leave packages by their front door, my uncle's family knew them when they went to homecoming stuff together. He was eventually caught and arrested but idk homeschooling isn't for everyone.

I worry sometimes how these kids will struggle when they are faced with the real world.

Personally I loved going to a charter school and I was really excited we got to have extra large classes sometimes because you can't always fit all your friends in your grade in one class but for specific art classes we often tried too. My charter high school was really great, my college experience was definitely not... It was too small for one thing looking back now.

Also won't ostracizing a bully make them more destructive? I know a lot of them become suicidal after a while and more destructive (based on experience understanding those I know better) they did get better though, they just didn't know how to process what they were going through.

Perhaps attitude might make more sense then personality, as your personality can change over time/environment. Environment affects a lot of personality and how it's perceived, and expressed. A toxic workplace will make a lot of difference but people with more healthy attitudes will likely leave quickly, those with poor views on life or self image will likely stay. This would of course effect training and improving skills.

It's actually a lot about a car based, commercialized society more then a phone or anything. If we had walkable cities, communities we wanted to be a part in, people would feel a whole lot less lonely. Fixing zoning laws, beautifying cities, better public transportation and working to bring more of nature into our everyday lives would make a digital one less interesting and we also would not need to work as hard as a good life would be in reach. It's like blaming books for causing people to be antisocial, same thing as video games...

As someone who somewhat works with AI it's good if your data is good and terrible if it's not, my job is literally to clean up AI failures, and due to bad data or dealing with interpretation a lot can be done with data good or bad. My work helps retrain the model, but sometimes because of bad management we have unclear answers on how to interpret the data and this leads to some coworkers training it wrong and you'll see this linger between projects. Now if the people were better trained the data would be too but oh well. Someone wants to cut costs. I think this kind of issue will always exist no matter the model, you can't really make up data you don't have (I mean you certainly can but it all has to be figured out how to fix it when it does just start guessing poorly) and sometimes there are no answers but bad answers in some edge cases.

Or you just make it cultural like Japan.

As someone miserably bored a lot, I think the habit really is more important then forced boredom. Also having someone to work with will always likely make you more creative, I don't think being bored has ever really made me more creative but having freetime to burn has. If you are so bored you sleep through a lecture it's pointless, at least I could draw through a lot of the ones I was in.

I've heard of ghost jobs so I'm starting to actually really doubt some of this, I've literally seen the same job on the market for over a year now with a new chain of recruits contacting me about it every 3 months. I understand there aren't a lot of perhaps qualified people for that role but come on a year with it open? The repeat open positions are disappointing to say the least. At least change the description! I think a lot of employers are just stacking up resumes and waiting to use them in the future.

Yeah agreed.

People who are not good with tech with certainly use Google especially if they grew up with it.

Yes, search results are bad, but are you using duckduckgo instead? No, you are still using a Google search to get somewhere even if it's just to use it to find a another site with better pages. Maybe you are using Bing though I know some folks were liked Bing...

Now if you want to argue people are using TikTok as a main search engine now that's a bit different (that's of course not accurate as it has terrible search just like reddit)

But yeah even Google knows people are only using it to find Reddit pages now (which is Reddit started the whole API issue) and why Google and Reddit are fighting a little.

With new diabetes drugs coming out they found them to have anti-addiction properties from food, smoking to shopping addiction, etc. You might say all these people don't want help but what if we just started putting them on anti-addiction drugs in the future? It could change their whole life, my diabetic mom now also has one of those stickers that tells her when her blood sugar gets too high and now she feels guilty when she eats badly because we all can hear it when her alarm goes off from the sticker and phone app. She also told me when she got on some of these drugs she doesn't feel as hungry anymore and started losing some weight. Her last doctor didn't care about her having diabetes so she didn't either, her new doctor is like, "yeah let's fix this, we'll get rid of this this year". And sometimes just having someone believe you can change makes all the difference.

Also what really makes people struggle with suicide can be quite different then just drug use.

Suicide thinking is an inflammation of the body that happens to all creatures when put under extreme stress. Their body is starting to control their mind. They aren't imagining pain, their body is literally in pain. Figuring what is causing the stress and how to reduce it is key.

Instead of saying oh they don't want to live, look at what is going on with their body. Overworked people get really suicidal would you want to get an exit ramp for them?

A lot of suicidal people also have been through a lot of unprocessed trauma that plain old consulting won't fix (as someone who went to 10 psychologist I personally find most of it useless as well, few people understand CPTSD and in fact I have had some psychologist blaming me for my problems and really badly mislabeling me. I was smart enough not to believe them but a lot of people might not. Most people don't understand what's like to live in bad circumstances for years they just think it's a personality disorder. This psychologist also never even asked if I grew up with a family history of violence because I seemed too normal in some ways. They were really bad at their job but at the time I thought if I could bully myself into changing myself with this psychologist help, maybe I could improve... It's only after some family died I realized what I was actually going through and found a term for it.)

Also by this logic of addicted users don't want to change it's like saying poor people choose to be poor, it's really hard to get out of systems and thought patterns to improve your circumstances. People spiral for a reason and it can be tough to overcome. Also really smart people can still be poor, being born in the wrong country or at the wrong time, or in the wrong circumstances etc etc can make a lot of difference. Having empathy for people and helping them understand themselves can make a lot of difference. I've helped a lot of suicidal people improve their circumstances (though it's hard), and it can be popular to be suicidal as a cultural thing too especially the more disconnected and trapped people feel. With suicide rates increasing you have to understand we have some systemic issues going on, it's not their fault they feel bad most of the time, it's just a bad system they are in, change the system change the people. Especially the youth. Also almost drug use abuse is because people feel disconnected from others. Which is largely a systemic issue now with loneliness shock rocketing.

It's all the different levels and degree to think about, from the tiny cell to the plants that can mimic what they see (even if it's just plastic, they still try to copy it), you are you but what is it that is you? Anti-addiction drugs are starting to be studied that make people not feel like over-shopping or over-eating and the results of new diabetic drugs that study this effect are very interesting.

I guess I probably see plants like fish not exactly conscious though they certainly respond to their environment. Plants are quite noisy if you pet them, the audio is just outside our hearing range but we have devices that can track that sort of thing now. And some fish actually like to be pet, my great grandmother apparently had some fish she would pet, never met her just know of the stories. Probably everything that can grow has some level of it.

Also fun fact worm memories are stored outside the brain, their are some trained worm studies you can Google that are interesting too.

Historically, I don't exactly think women were loved, respected or cherished by men, at least not all the time, nor how we think of it in modern terms and I don't think contraception is the cause of it.

Women in many cultures and times were just seen as baby machines and failing to have children often led to intense shame especially if the women failed to produce the right gender. And for those with unwanted pregnancy - suicide was a common option either by failed abortion, or trying to make ends meet in other ways, or just straight suicide I read quite a lot of stories of it. People made things work or just didn't and finished it quickly, they were expected to and I'd say that the concept of love was a lot different then how we think of it now. People did things because they were supposed to (or were forced too), not always because they wanted to. You can look at any time in history and see this, the Bible has a ton of examples of poor women in bad situations (Leah & Rachel, Hagar, Bathsheba, etc). It also even brings up when to abort a child as a way to prove guilt or innocence of sleeping around (Ordeal of the bitter water.) But you find concubine stories, slave stories, multiple wives all over the world, ... Women historical were often treated more like children or objects then treasure. The Bible also shows cases of women in power too (Deborah, Miriam, etc) and the love of them is mixed. I'm just saying you might think it's a 'modern problem' but it's always been a part of history. Conception has always been around too even if not well understood, the rich having the best access.

I do agree that relationships nowadays can be much cheaper though but for particular generations like millennials for example sex in general is at an all time historical low. I'd say in general more people are afraid of relationships then anything due to money, family trauma or many other cases be it America, Europe and Asian countries. It's more stress and fear related then anything I'd say besides the devaluing of children (in cities they are an expense, on a farm an asset). Plus with many families separated because of work, it's harder to rise children with lack of community in many places.

This is my method, especially because it shows how design will progress, with tight deadlines this becomes harder but I still consider it a very valuable way of proving work (only a minor designer though with freelancing)

I certainly can understand stand the move fast method of quickly changing things, when I'm doing concept work this makes more sense here.

Long term though, if you actually care about your work you should be making copies or different boards to show how and when you made some decisions. Especially mayor design changes.(Granted I could just be a bad designer that just can't come up with a better workflow)

Hahaha bankruptcy worse then death??? It's like saying a divorce will break you. Man, imagine these people living with common people who go through this stuff all the time.

Loooooong ago blender once did have a game engine but they removed it many many years ago.

Looking at who created Discord, I would agree. They will start selling data a lot and do other stuff when the numbers get big like they did with their other business but for now it's a smooth ride on freeness.

Yep, I'm not even a big music person, but Spotify is terrible at predicting music for me, it's so bad I barely try new music because most of it is trash but then again Spotify thinks I like 350+ genres so there is a lot of room for failure.

There are also two kinds of people, people who like albums and people who like singles. I'm not an album person because it's often lackluster and repetitive, few bands can really create good albums that surprise me but singles on the other hand can shine and the band knows they can. Just because I like one song doesn't mean I'll like 5 other songs from a band. Most of my favorite music is pretty unknown. I'd imagine hits are just like that hit or miss and good marketing is what really helps a lot of things sell.

I don't think one can look at this as an either or thing but a spectrum of levels too.

Almost nothing in life is 100% black and white, quite literally everything you study has more and more edge cases the more you study, even math breaks itself if you try and prove it. But we have reliable levels of math that function as we need it. And generally most things are good enough you can use it reliably. Just because something may break doesn't mean it's useless or anything.

Free will is also a spectrum and we all have different levels and different experiences of it. We all have choices we make but we might not be even aware of them. Our body influences our choices and our thinking influences our body. A double edged sword.

I remember reading an inspirational tale based on a real author who had to save himself because of his medical bills. He was completely disabled and would write blog posts with his eyes and eventually became such a good writer he was able to publish books and move to Mexico and get nurses to help care for him etc. This guy who has literally only a brain and functional eyes became some millionaire though sheer determination to save himself. Then you might find some rich well off person kill themselves because they can't find a reason to live. Two extremes. One with everything another with basically nothing, I mean would really want to live with that your whole life? Is the natural thought to reverse that?

Then you have cats able to communicate quite well with in various ways. I could go on and on about my cat informing me when he is sick etc.

I never even got into the whole thing about how your trillion of cells right now are making their own decisions in your body. I mean what even are you but a million things you'll never see or think about unless you get cancer or something when your cells decide not to die. What are you without their death?

Also could go into how memories are stored outside the brain with worm studies etc, and how fungus solves mazes, how plants communicate by smell and sound, there is a lot of werid stuff the more you look.

Bonus fun reference material:

https://unstoppable.me/life-lessons/

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oxana_Malaya

Teaching sign language to your cat https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/teaching-and-training... https://phys.org/news/2013-07-flat-worms-retain-memories-dec...

Plants have a clicking language etc https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/03/30/worl...

Plants have all 5+ senses and can be trained which also is cool if you look into getting them over their fear of falling and other things etc

https://theworld.org/stories/2014-01-09/new-research-plant-i...

Why don't we change the debt to income shares? Make enough of x money pay a percent every month. Seems like it would be at least be more fair for those that don't make enough to pay their bills easily. It's debt without the interest and stress. Honestly though with private loans and complicated debts I'm sure that would be complicated to pull off completely.

I would be surprised if a company knew that much about my personal life too, worked at at least 20 places can't think of more then one that knew my birthday/did anything for that and would have been surprised if they did anything for the surgeries I've behaving lately. Best I can hope for is being able to get time off lol. I recently worked somewhere that offered unpaid unlimited time off but then they thought people took too much time off and back stepped that policy within a month of me joining lol. Boy were people fighting over it since they changed the contract for everyone.

I too fall under millennial on the younger side.

I think if you work for a very tiny company that will really badly miss you, then you have a higher chance of them recognizing you but also have a higher chance of them replacing you quickly too. Anything else, you are generally a clog in a machine.

Won't this get kinda boring after a little while? I guess I've been on enough business trips that constantly traveling to me seems stressful and boring. I liked looking forward to meeting coworkers though, so having some people like distant family or friends in these areas makes life more enjoyable. I guess I've also been somewhat forced/or I guess blessed to live in a different state for a while. You won't really get a good understanding of a place until you've lived there maybe 2-3 years and have driven all over and met different types of people in that culture. The first year I think is mostly adapting to the differences and handling culture shock if you move across the country.

Ah yes AI and Automation the solution to all problems. It's basically impossible to directly talk to anyone in my state because of that when it comes to unemployment. What's worse is a 3rd party was hired to basically say they can't do anything but tell you if your account is either good or not. Sometimes it's nice to be able to talk to someone who has some power in the system.

If you mess up in the system good luck figuring it out for a few months. I think my state has had investigations over had bad it is. What's really stupid is unemployment fined me at some point but my unemployment insurance covered it as I had like $10k in my unemployment account the state agree I qualified for that I eventually gave up trying to use as I couldn't get these two parties within unemployment to agree. So I was qualified just unable to qualify. At least I didn't have to pay anything as unemployment covered it and I'm employed now but what a horrible system. I did attempt to go to go to court over this, major waste of time too. Especially because their own system failed with the original court date so they rescheduled for 4 months later. Huge mess. Don't ever be unemployed and you are fine though. Or move out of Texas I guess. I'm glad I had savings but I feel for those who don't. It's way too easy screw up in these systems.

A lot of Americans would actually like free healthcare and UBI was actually had been around in America for 100's of years since the beginning, it's not new as an idea. China has a whole host of problems they too can't grow forever with ghost cities, etc but they like America have a political need to always be growing.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_basic_income_in_th....

So many what if's in life. What if I'm successful, what if I'm a failure? Will my partner still love me? What if I'm ugly, what if my health problems are too much? What if what if... What if I divorce and lose everything? So what? You could have lost everything a thousand other ways too. A car crash, a violent attack, a random event or calculated one.

Too much success can easily lead to failure, too much failure could actually lead to success if you learn.. Life is about up's and down's, I've lost so much over and over through bad circumstances (complicated deaths, parents with problems, etc) I find it mind boggling how much control people actually think they have in life. Sometimes you just get bad hands but that can be good sometimes as it can give you perspectives that others may miss out on. Empathy is something often hard earned.

So many people think if they just play life safe they will always be safe, and yeah I guess maybe. But for me, I see life has a best hope situation in general. Get lucky and good stuff might happen to you, Do your best to get lucky. I'm so used to instability in life, I personally find it amazing to realize how many people are in a blessed position to make/have friends, health, wealth and education, a happy family and such. And I'm sure so many would see my life as stable lol.

I think the best thing is to be thankful for everything you get because it might not last but is something worse because it doesn't last or is it better? A hot piece of bread is much better then one always cold because it's so short lived and a simple pleasure. Like life itself is short lived but I've been thankful for those things I've learned.

Even if bad stuff happens it's not the end of the world, because you are still alive. Though I know plenty wish that weren't alive, some being successful at getting their wish. It's understandable, a lot of life is painful and disappointing. I'm not married or anything but I can tell you from my own experience money is a tool sometimes you will have it, sometimes you won't but you can make do, health is a blessing sometimes you will have it, but when you don't you wish so much you did, friends are such a joy when you have them but they too might not last forever, family can be the same. When it comes to love, it's really a question of sacrifice. If you love someone sacrifice is much much easier. But I think it's hard for people to truly love. It's often painful and sometimes the rewards don't seem there. How much is their life really worth? But would you really leave people worse off? I think the movie A Wonderful Life is a good example of this. I think knowing people from other cultures and countries also makes you realize how wildly different life can be for people too.

I do plan to get married one day and I personally believe sharing everything is important because loss is to be expected so enjoy it while you can. Though I know many would find me a fool but everyone is a fool in their own way. I don't think of marriage as winning the lottery ticket but then again I think you are quite lucky to marry in the first place because quite a lot of people may never see the opportunity ever come up. Even though my parents marriage went up in flames and they both lost everything in it, I think I've learned a lot of what not to do lol. I don't blame marriage for their self destruction only their own expectations of what to expect out of life.

It was their attempts at control that caused such a spiral.

You mean like screaming demands, insults and threats at someone that might scar them if repeated over and over?

I think that could be considered violent but it really depends on metaphors here.

It's physical in the way that the body remembers trauma I suppose. Words might not break your bones but they sure could lead to auto-immune disorders, memory disorders, hormonal imbalance, stomach conditions, blood pressure conditions, thyroid conditions, not to mention mood regulation issues and other issues etc.

If your body is conditioned to be in a tortured/stressed/powerless state it won't understand how to regulate properly later leading to further issues. So you could say it is a physical force here in this way damaging and changing your body forever.

There are a fair amount of things out there on this topic.

I started getting autoimmune disorders in middle school due to stress in my home, unfortunately my family didn't actually realize I was sick then due to stress in my home lol. But that was just how it was and life got considerably worse because the yelling further escalated in other members to eventual violence. This lead to quite a lot of other issues in my early 20's compounding so when people are like it's just words, you don't know much and how fast words can escalate. Words have a lot of power, don't dismiss them too easily. My family always liked to and it sure left damage.

https://themighty.com/topic/trauma/trauma-chronic-stress-aut...

It's easy to have answers when you don't have to really solve the problem, when you actually have to go and fix the problem yourself that's when you really face the problem and those answers are hard won. But I admire those who do tackle such problems or at least attempt too. The cost of real problem solving few will actually try to endure. It's messy, not straightforward and often a compromise you never wanted.

I remember the days before tables, and I think it's come a long way with lots of great features... That said, I don't see it as a replacement for regular tools like Google sheets and docs etc.

I like my credit union, no fees, good support (in person though...), easy to setup accounts. It's a little dated it feels like but the app is reasonable, with so many type of banking options I'm surprised people would use a bank with fees. I've been using Chime for years with no issues, online banks work for me just fine. I can understand a little more though when it comes to international travel because there tends to be more restrictions, I have a small chase account for international travel as the card just seems to work better but I rarely use that account and would probably close it if I found a better international debt card.

Besides police having better community involvement, I'm sure a lot of places that need more police also in general need more community. If your needs are being met it's far more likely that less crime will happen. I'm not sure how things like this can happen, but some areas like Japan have pulled it off both culturally and with some safety nets. Of course no place will truly ever be crime free.

Shouldn't that number be concerning 30% of children deaths are from guns?

Suicide or not, doesn't that seem concerning? Hmm... Some people say it's the top way children die now by gun. I remember growing up and having active shooter drills in elementary school but it's nothing like they are now. I think we are one of the few countries where children dieing by firearm has increased 46% in the last twenty years or so.

Where I grew up it wasn't rare to hear about stabbings or shooting but it does put me on edge hearing about a mall I used to go to having an active shooter etc.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2022/12/14/magazine/gun-...

www.kff.org/private-insurance/press-release/firearms-are-the-leading-cause-of-death-for-children-in-the-united-states-but-rank-no-higher-than-fifth-in-other-industrialized-nations/amp/

I think some elements of this are true, and yes I think culture plays a big part in it.

I am sorta on the opposite side of this I want to have kids, get married, I'm willing to support my husband if I make more then him (whenever I get one), but I feel like I'm just not stable enough yet. Most of my tech jobs are short lived, I'm also trying to run my own business and just don't have the time to do a lot right now. I grew up with parents with hugh issues with money and they divorced and I don't want that for my future. I don't want to fight over money or jobs or small stupid stuff that doesn't matter in life.

I think honestly a lot of people just don't feel like they are in a stable position, we also don't have strong communities anymore that helps out when stuff does get hard like marriage or raising kids. I think honestly a lot of people are really lonely and just live with it because they don't know how to fix it. We don't have systems or places in place that make it easy to hang out nor do we have the time nowadays. Or at least I don't. I'm in my 30's though and I'm in a long distance relationship but it sounds really hard to imagine actually getting married anytime soon I just have so much going on. I really believe people want to feel loved and have someone to love, I think a lot of our society now though is hyper competitive, commercialized and no longer built for families. People don't trust anymore and it's a fear driven culture.