Thanks for the responses. I guess I very much needed kick in the back. I am old enough to know that hindsight is easy and there is no point agonizing over the past. It’s too hard to put in the practice though. My real life friends have also told me that my identity revolves around my job. I realize it. E.g. Someone mentioned in this thread that they would hate to work with me. Even though it was a random internet comment talking to my throwaway handle, that comment hurt me. I do my best job irrespective of whether I like it or not. I take pride in doing good work. If I get paid top dollar, my employer gets his moneys worth. I guess I have to reframe my mindset and decouple my identity.
While getting a promotion is partly related to seeking validation through status/title, it’s not all that. I feel that at 45 I have limited time in the workforce to make an impact. I will probably work 10 more years before getting exhausted and calling it a day. Getting into management can put me in a place where I can help people grow in their career. I can make changes in management to make my teams life a bit easier. I never had a mentor or guide to bounce off my ideas about life or career. May be I could be that sounding board for my team.